Unimaginable without him

Welcome to the February Carnival of Natural Parenting: Parenting Essentials

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have shared the parenting essentials that they could not live without.
Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.


The goofy couple, hiking Johnston Canyon in birkenstocks. Typical.For most of our marriage, Marc and I have been alone together. We spent the first 10 years together, living in Toronto, Montreal then Ottawa, being not only spouse, but best friends, playmates, helpmates, psychiatrists, antagonists, team mates, and lovers. Being without any other family, and sometimes without other friends, allowed us (forced us?) to learn to rely only on each other, to need only each other, and to protect and nurture our extremely exclusive club. Perhaps we’ve taken co-dependance to a whole new level, although I prefer to think of it as a true marriage of two souls. We are two limbs on the same body, two peas in the same pod, I’m sure you get it.

As life is constant change, our life did change radically on November 22, 2009. Freyja burst onto the scene and rocked us to our very core. I think for any new parents, the arrival of your child is a profoundly changing experience and we are no different.  Though we’ve had the inevitable spats and bickering, we’ve also become closer. Together, we’ve struggled our way through midwives, doulas, cloth diapers, cuddle wraps and the fourth trimester, co-sleeping, exclusive breastfeeding, babyled weaning and elimination communication. Together, we’ve found our path amidst all the well-intentioned advice and opinions, raising Freyja with gentleness, love and respect. And in turn, my love and respect for Marc has increased infinitely.

There is no way I can imagine my life without Marc. Because of him, I can be the mother I aspire to be, and that must be one of the greatest gifts you can ever receive.


Carnival of Natural Parenting -- Hobo Mama and Code Name: MamaVisit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

  • Not Without Him — The love Starr at Taking Time shares with her husband is the foundation of her parenting.
  • I Cannot Imagine Parenting Without B(.)(.)bs — From an uneducated dreamer to a breastfeeding mother of a toddler, nursing has forever changed Kristy at Strings to Things’s relationship with her daughter and her outlook on life.
  • Raising a Child in the Internet Village — When Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction has a question or concern about parenting, she turns to the Internet. What did parents do before Google?
  • Partner in Crime and ParentingBethy at Bounce Me to the Moon can’t imagine parenting without her husband’s sense of humor – he brings her laughter and love every day.)
  • I Make MilkPatti at Jazzy Mama can’t imagine trying to mother her babies without her breasts, but she could do it if she had to.
  • New Perspectives Bring New BeginningsMJ at Wander Wonder Discover, who is a former authoritarian mamma, has gained perspective via parenting.
  • Time Out!Mrs. Green at Little Green Blog explores how time apart can increase your capacity to give unconditionally.
  • Unimaginable Without HimKristina at heyred designs is celebrating her amazing partner, without whom none of her parenting experience would be possible.
  • My Parenting NecessityClaire at The Adventures of Lactating Girl needs “me time” in order to be the Mama she wants to be.
  • Babywearing As a Way of LifeDarcel at The Mahogany Way talks about the benefits of babywearing in everyday life.
  • Parenting Partnership — Sometimes Abbie at Farmer’s Daughter doesn’t appreciate her husband enough, but she definitely couldn’t imagine parenting without his help.
  • Parenting EssentialsMomma Jorje loves her parenting products, but she needs you even more.
  • My Parenting Must-Have: SupportJoella at Fine and Fair wrote a letter to her daughter about the role that support from friends and family plays in her mothering.
  • It’s More Than Just Hair — Think doing hair is full of fluff? Too girly? Useless? Karli from Curly Hairdo Ideas used to think so too.
  • The Minimalist Parent — The parents at Living Peacefully with Children embrace a minimalist perspective when it comes to baby gear. A good sling is all they need.
  • Without My BreastsCharise at I Thought I Knew Mama can’t imagine parenting without her breasts; here’s why.
  • Loves Books, Loves PeopleSeonaid at the Practical Dilettante discovers that the library is a perfect fit for her family’s needs.
  • An Ode to the Maya WrapRevMama’s next child might be named Maya, because of her fondness for the sling.
  • Avoiding the Padded RoomPecky at Benny and Bex is here to testify that it takes a village to raise a child.
  • My parenting essentials, from Tivo to battery-operated monstrositiesLauren at Hobo Mama presents a list of parenting essentials you didn’t even know you needed (and probably don’t…).
  • Attachment Parenting Through Separation: It Makes It a Little BetterJessica at This Is Worthwhile talks about how she couldn’t survive her separation without attachment parenting and the bond it’s afforded her with her 3 year old son.
  • Parenting EssentialsDeb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now shares the principles she used to parent her children from infants to adults.
  • My Parenting Essentials — The things that are truly essential to Kim at In Desperate Need of Entertainment aren’t things at all.
  • I’m No One Without My Sling — How baby carrying is essential to the parenting of Jessica Claire at Crunchy-Chewy Mama.
  • I Cannot Imagine Parenting Without…Isil at Smiling Like Sunshine talks about what she needs to raise her children.
  • February Carnival of Natural Parenting — Through her experiences over the last five and a half years, Casey at Love What Is has discovered her most important tool for parenting is using her instincts.
  • CNP: I Cannot Imagine Parenting Without __________.The Artsymama discloses the one thing that gave her back control of herself as a parent.
  • Laugh Until I Cry — Laughing with her sons keeps Acacia at Fingerpaint & Superheroes connected and grounded.
  • I Cannot Imagine Parenting WithoutLuschka at Diary of a First Child realizes what the one thing she can’t imagine parenting without is, and it turns out it’s not a thing after all.
  • It Takes Two — Here are a few of the reasons why Jenn at Adventures Down Under cannot imagine parenting without her fabulous husband.
  • Stopping to Listen — Though it wasn’t easy at first, Knocked Up – Knocked Over cannot imagine parenting her daughter without listening first to what she is telling her.
  • The Essence of Parenting — There are many wonderful resources that make life easier for Michelle at the Parent Vortex to parent, but the essence is the relationship between parent and child.
  • What I Cannot Live WithoutSybil at Musings of a Milk Maker considers her computer to be a parenting lifeline.
  • True Blessings: White Noise and GrandparentsKat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment can’t live without her white noise machine and the support of her parents.
  • The Necessities! — What “stuff” does a natural parent like Lily, aka Witch Mom really need? Not much, it turns out.
  • Mama Showed MeMama Mo at Attached at the Nip writes about how parenting wisdom is passed on by example.
  • Ode to the Loo — For Joni Rae at Tales of a Kitchen Witch, the bathroom is her safe place, where she can take a minute to calm down if she is feeling touched out.
  • Go, Mama. Go!Andrea!!! at Ella-Bean & Co. has been able to integrate her many roles through her get-up-and-go parenting essential, exercise!
  • My Other HalfBecky at Old New Legacy realizes what a relief it is to have her husband parent alongside her.
  • Grace, Love, and CoffeeMrsH at Fleeting Moments realizes that lifelines can take the form of the profound, or the mundane. Both are ok.
  • Supportive Spouse, Check! — There are so many parenting tools and gadgets that are superfluous, but the one essential, for Danielle at born.in.japan, has been her supportive spouse.
  • Why I’m a BabywearerMeredith at Becoming Mamas reflects on the ways babywearing has enhanced her mama baby relationship…and made life easier to boot.
  • It’s Marvelous Out Here, Kiddo!Rachael at The Variegated Life can’t imagine parenting in the big city without the marvels of Prospect Park to share with her Critter.
  • Yes, Thank YouAmy at Anktangle offers tips on how to ask for and accept help, an essential for successful parenting.
  • Parenting Essentials Checklist: Mom’s Inner Rebel and Her Kids’ VoicesOlivia at Write About Birth reflects on raising global citizens and saying no to societal norms.
  • Eco-Mama Online! — An Eco-Mama living in the mountains of a nature island, Terri at Child of the Nature Isle finds it essential to connect to nature and to connect online.
  • Sorry, We Just Sold the Last OneNev at The Adventures of Lime confesses she missed out the day they handed out patience.
  • LaughTashmica at The Mother Flippin’ Blog reveals her super power, her talisman agains mean mommy.
  • My Priceless Parenting Resource — What do books, a magazine community, my mother and the local playgroup have in common? Lucy at Dreaming Aloud tells us…
  • The Gift of Shared TimeTree at Mom Grooves strives to experience the world from her daughter’s perspective.
  • Follow the GigglesDionna at Code Name: Mama can’t live without the sound of her child’s giggles – come watch her video and you’ll agree!
  • Can I Mommy Without Boob?Emily at Crunchy(ish) Mama shares her fears about weaning and losing part of that the mother/child bond.

29 thoughts on “Unimaginable without him

  1. Pingback: I Cannot Imagine Parenting Without… | Diary of a First Child

  2. Pingback: Parenting Essentials | LivingMontessoriNow.com

  3. Pingback: Raised by the Internet…and my heart. | Monkey Butt Junction

  4. Pingback: Loves Books, Loves People « The Practical Dilettante

  5. Gosh, you’ve made me cry! Happy tears of course! What a lovely tribute to your hubby…just in time for Valentine’s Day too :-) I feel the same way about my hubby. We have been through so much. SO MUCH. And of course I couldn’t be the mother I am without him. Thanks for this amazing post!

  6. Pingback: I Cannot Imagine Parenting Without…

  7. My hubby and I had an experience somewhat similar to yours – we moved halfway across the country and had only each other to rely on, and I know that’s been of great help to our journey as parents. Thank you for sharing your story!

  8. Pingback: Eco-Mama Online! - Child of the Nature Isle

  9. Pingback: It’s Marvelous Out Here, Kiddo!

  10. Pingback: Stopping to Listen « Knocked Up – Knocked Over

  11. Being the child of a broken marriage myself I know just how important a foundation a loving couple are for their kids’ happiness and well-being. I see dear newly single friends struggle as single mums and thank my lucky stars I have my husband. Keeping our relationship strong and healthy is the biggest gift I can give to our children (of course after a strong, healthy mama!). See my post for my appreciation of him… and all the other parents I know who help me to be a good-enough mama to my brood.

  12. Pingback: The Gift of Shared Time | momgrooves.com

  13. Pingback: Why I’m a Babywearer « Becoming Mamas

  14. Pingback: Ode to the Loo | Tales of a Kitchen Witch Momma

  15. Pingback: Crunchy Chewy Mama » Blog Archive » I’m no one with out my sling

  16. Pingback: My Parenting Necessity « The Adventures of Lactating Girl

  17. Pingback: Grace, Love, and Coffee « Fleeting Moments

  18. Aw, so sweet! I was thinking of writing about my husband, too, but then I remembered that he was the focus of one of my previous CarNatPar posts, lol.

    It sounds like you have a really wonderful partnership. It’s going to serve you well throughout the joys and challenges to come!

    So glad I found your blog through the carnival!

  19. I so know what you mean. I do miss my time with my husband, a lot. The date nights are fine, but to be with just him for just a whole day at least, is something that I would love.

  20. Pingback: The Essence of Parenting

  21. This is so beautiful. My husband too, is my rock and without him my life would be unimaginable (and just so SAD and depressing!). There are so many people in rocky relationships that it brings a smile to my heart to know there are other people out there who feel as blessed as I do :)

  22. Beautiful post.

    I almost wrote about my husband, but I felt that my readers were probably getting tired of me constantly praising him.

    I think that for a relationship to really work, you need to be best friends. While we haven’t been in your situation of no family or friends near us, my husband and I still have a level of friendship that just can’t be obtained by anyone else around us. If something happens, he’s always the first one I go to so that we can talk. That’s just the way that it should be.

    The birth of my daughter strengthened our relationship immensely and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I entirely relied on him throughout the whole process and it brought us that much closer. I think we’re some of the only people I know in real life that having a baby strengthened their relationship rather than putting extra stress on it. That’s just the way it should be.

  23. This really resonated with me. Our son was born the day before our 9th wedding anniversary, and we’d spent all those years leading up to it being together nearly constantly, since we both worked from home. We got the “co-dependent” tag from some people, too, but we didn’t mind it, because we liked being together so much. Having a baby really shook things up. But I trust that strong foundation we laid will see us through all these upheavals as we find a way to be a tight-knit but bigger circle. Thanks for sharing!

  24. Pingback: 10 reasons why I chose breast over bottles | Old New Legacy

  25. Pingback: Top 10 Montessori Principles for Natural Learning | LivingMontessoriNow.com

  26. Pingback: Ten Top Ways to Connect Kids with Nature - Child of the Nature Isle

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